Thursday, June 14, 2018

happy fasting :)


lamanya rasa tak menulis dalam ni. dari bulan 1, sampailah ke bulan 6. maafkan saya. takde idea nak tulis apa. lagipun, skill menulis walaupun entri bodo-bodo pun dah berkarat terox. dah tak reti nak menulis 😂

disebabkan awal puasa takde wish kat sini, jadi kita wish di akhir puasa aje lah yer. tahun ni sangat limited wish puasa aku. sebabnya, berapa kerat je yang aku wish. makin lama, makin macam tahlah. ade yang kawan dah jadi lawan (eh ada ke?). ada yang kawan dah jadi stranger. krik krik krik. ade yang kawan, takat kawan jelah. kenal nama, aku kau sudah. haha.

so minggu lepas, aku kena asthma attack. weh seksa seksa. pukul 11.30 malam pergi emergency. 1.30 pagi baru balik. kau bayangkan jelah aku pergi sorang, balik sorang. seram sejuk woi walaupun tahu setan kene ikat. lalu diikuti demam + sakit tekak + selsema 👻

persiapan raya. hurm. takde. memang takde beli apa. memang takda niat nak raya pun. raya kedua je insyaAllah ganti terus puasa. mujur tahun ni cuti kejap je. kalau tak jenuh nak mengganti. dahlah pesen pemalas kenn 😛

dalam banyak-banyak tahun, rasanya tahun ni paling sunyi sekali. orang yang dirindu, tak rindu kita balik. rasanya kalau aku tak buat muka tak malu pi reply ig story, reply tweet, wasap apa semua. maka, sedikit demi sedikit aku dilupakan sampai satu tahap takde siapa ingat aku dah. huhu. sis sedih 😨

tapi apepun, harini dah last puasa. esok dah raya. aku cakap awal-awal ni, data siang takde. ada data malam je. haha. okay. nak sahur ni. bye.

Friday, March 9, 2018

Saturday, January 13, 2018

One.

I feel so peculiar; Life is so strange. I feel completely detached from everything and everyone, yet I’m so heavily drenched in the essence of being that sometimes I can barely move. I long to wake up every day feeling a sense of purpose and belonging, but as of now, I am full to the brim with ambivalence and fear for this life and where it’s taking me. a new chapter of my existence has begun, and this beginning is painfully vague and stagnant. I scurry through the pages, ignoring the seemingly small, insignificant words as I desperately search for the climax. I stop and underline a few words: love, loss, liberation. I want to do extraordinary things with these words, but I am terribly limited. I return to Chapter One; I read about a little girl looking up to the starry night sky. Her heart is full, and she is limitless. She looks up and sees forever; she looks up and sees the whole wide world and feels as if she could singlehandedly shake it. There is nothing she cannot do. I study the pages from Chapter One and trace my fingers over every last word as they dance on my fingertips to a song of ambition and joy. I return to the present, and I take a deep breath. I notice in the midst of my hurry I have left the pages torn; they are rigid, dry, and my tears have dismembered a few words. The little girl that I once knew gently takes my shaking hand. She traces every word- the buts and whys, the hellos and goodbyes, the stars and the sunrise. She welcomes me to this new chapter with a tender smile, and at last, we become one.

Friday, January 12, 2018

12/365

1. No matter how much you wish or beg someone to stay, if they don’t want to stay, they won’t. People leave when they find that it will benefit them more to do so than stay by your side.

2. Even when it feels like it, caring is not a bad thing. You cannot care or love someone too much. It is their choice to love you back with such a passion that it is equal. If they do not, it doesn’t mean that you’re caring too much. Do not love less just to match someone else’s love. You deserve better than that. So love and care without limit. One day someone will love you the same way.


3. People are going to say things about you. Society is going to try to turn you into someone that fits their standards. People are going to assume things that aren’t true just because that’s what “most people would do” in your situation. You don’t have to follow the rules. People that matter, people that care, don’t want someone like everyone else. Different is good, no matter what people will think. It’s worth it.


4. Things get better. Life is always throwing things at you, some bad and some good. The good things make it worth it. Focus on that, no matter what. Living is worth it, getting out of bed and facing your fears is worth it. It may not feel like it, but as long as you know it, one day, you’ll believe it.